Bartholomew — the Aramaic name meaning "son of Talmai," carried by one of the twelve apostles — is, by any objective measure, too much name for a dog. That's exactly why it works. There is a specific humor in calling a beagle or a tabby cat by five full syllables with genuine conviction. The nickname Bart, however, is a completely different kind of fun.
The Ironic Formality Play
Bartholomew belongs to a naming strategy where the gap between the name's weight and the animal's smallness is the entire joke. Chihuahuas named Bartholomew are comedy gold. So is any cat under 8 pounds. The name shares register with Cornelius and Reginald in the Victorian-overkill-on-a-pet category.
The Bart Option
Bart Simpson gave this nickname a different energy entirely — chaotic, irreverent, lovably disruptive. Naming your pet Bartholomew and calling them Bart gives you two names for the price of one, each with its own personality. The human name Bartholomew is genuinely rare in US data, which makes this choice even more distinctive. Browse grandly named pets at pet names.
The Counter-Reading: Pure Commitment Required
You must be willing to say "Bartholomew, drop it" at a dog park with a straight face. Some people cannot do this. Those people should name their dog Max.